


Lasting Regrets

by FeelsandFandoms



Series: The Force Awakens Skysolo [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Force Visions, M/M, Past Luke Skywalker/Han Solo, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Tumblr: JediPrompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 00:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5846017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeelsandFandoms/pseuds/FeelsandFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke has a Force Vision that leaves him worried. </p>
<p>He decided to take a walk outside to try and clear his mind when he felt it. He didn’t even have to search the Force to know what happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lasting Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [JediPrompts](http://www.jediprompts.tumblr.com) Skysolo Week. Prompt was 'regret'.
> 
> I'm so happy to finally finish this fic and post it. This was actually my first skysolo fic but decided to hold off on posting it til now to go with skysolo week. 
> 
> I want to thank Rie for letting me use on their many amazing headcanons for this. Check the notes at the end for the link to their post about it. I also want to thank my friend Nelson for helping me come up with another idea for this fic and Storm for looking this over. I couldn't have finished this without you guys.

Luke awoke with a start, bolting straight up from his bed, panting. He had a force vision. It wasn’t a surprise to him that he had one. He’d been feeling all the various disturbances in the Force of late, but this one was personal. He saw Han and it wasn’t good.

He continued to sit there, trying to get himself under control as he pieced together what he saw. Han was on some sort of base and was heading toward trouble. It then changed to Han surrounded by darkness and he was in danger. Luke couldn’t shake the feeling that things were going to end badly for him.

Yoda’s words of wisdom, “Always in motion is the future,” came to him. This was exactly how he felt after his first vision on Dagobah and he didn’t like it.

Luke sighed at that thought as he laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. Yes, the future was not set in stone but it wasn’t a comforting thought in times like this. Not when the vision was about someone he cared about.

Although they hadn’t seen each other in years, Luke still loved Han. He always had despite trying his hardest not too. He buried the feelings as much as he could years before he even left, but now they were all resurfacing along with some of their memories together.

He thought about their first kiss. He remembered the growing tension between them before that and how they nearly kissed after they destroyed the Death Star, almost getting caught up in their emotions and excitement. (They had enough sense not to do it in front of everyone.) It was after they received the Medal of Bravery on Yavin 4 that it actually happened. After the ceremony was over, they found themselves alone in an empty corridor. Luke couldn’t even remember how they ended up there alone or what was said. All he did remember was going in to hug Han, going up on his toes to better reach him. From there, one thing led to another before Luke realized it, he was kissing Han. It was a little sloppy at first due to Luke’s inexperience but Han didn’t seem to mind.

 It would become one of many kisses they would share over the years and the beginning of whatever it was between them. (They never seemed to want to label what they had and took it for what it was.)

Those thoughts then led to the first time they had sex. It was far from perfect and a bit embarrassing, given the circumstances, but it still brought a smile to Luke’s lips. They were at some Rebel base and found themselves with some downtime on the Falcon with nothing to do. Han told Chewbacca to make himself scarce to give them some alone time and the Wookie was more than happy to oblige. They left a trail of clothes leading to Han’s bunk and tumbled onto the bed in a tangled mess of limbs. But just as they were getting into it, the door opened and C-3PO entered. Luke remembered how Han yelled at the droid while he covered his face in embarrassment. This was not how he pictured his first time. Apparently, Leia needed them for an important meeting and couldn’t get a hold of them through the comm links so she sent Threepio to find them. While it killed the mood, they were able to laugh about it afterwards.

But with the good memories came the bad ones, like when Luke decided they needed to put an end to their relationship. That wasn’t a choice he came to easily and he learned to deeply regret it over the years. It happened while they were in the emergency shelter after Han rescued him on Hoth.

Han wasn’t happy about it at all and told him he just wasn’t thinking clearly in his condition but Luke was firm in his decision. He now needed to leave to finish training as a Jedi and he didn’t want to keep Han waiting for him. Han eventually stopped arguing about it and dropped the matter, telling Luke he wouldn’t hold it against him. Luke was grateful for it because the last thing he wanted was to lose Han altogether.

Things were a little awkward between them after that and they didn’t get the chance to see each other after that until Han was rescued from Jabba. By then, Han and Leia were together and Luke had other more important things to focus on than an old love.

Eventually, he was able to put his mind somewhat at ease and went back to sleep, even though it was anything but restful.

 ***

Luke agonized for over a week about what he saw that night. He was torn between the thought of risking to do something or not. Remembering how things went the last time he tried acting on his vision to save Han and Leia was what caused him to stay on Ahch-To. If he went, he could be the very cause of Han’s trouble.

He decided to take a walk outside to try and clear his mind when he felt it. He didn’t even have to search the Force to know what happened.

Luke sank to the ground, shoulders sagging. Pain and despair filled him. After everything he’d been through by now, he thought he was accustomed to experiencing this kind of lose. Not to say death was meaningless to him but he didn’t realize he would have this visceral reaction to it; to one particular life ending.

Han was gone.

He was gone and it was all Luke’s fault. Not just from his inactivity after the vision but from years ago when he failed Han and Leia as he lost Ben to the Dark Side. That was one of the worst days of his life. Not only did Luke lose everything he worked for, it was shortly after when he and Han went their separate ways for good. They had to deal with things in their own way. If Luke had known this would be how things ended, he would have made it a better goodbye between them than just leaving Han chasing after him.

Guilt and regret began to stir inside of him and take over. He couldn’t get the image of the last time he saw Han out of his mind; how sad and desperate he was and it was all because of Luke leaving. He never meant to stay away for this long. Maybe if he’d gone back sooner, none of this would have happened and Han would still be alive. But now wasn’t the time to dwell on what could have been.

 

With a heavy heart, Luke sobered up. He knew exactly what he needed to do. He would send a message to R2D2 and have the droid give Leia the map to him. He’d hid for long enough and it was time for him to go back. His sister, and the Resistance, needed him.

**Author's Note:**

> The first kiss memory was taken from this [headcanon](http://nooowestayandgetcaught.tumblr.com/post/137797335702/sometimes-i-think-about-first-kisses-for-my-otps). I loved it so much that I had to use it. 
> 
> If you don't know about the radio drama that I referenced in the Hoth memory, you're missing out and can listen to it [here](https://soundcloud.com/em-hunt-818202890/survival-shelter-sequence).


End file.
